Lord G_d Almighty, Not the Hair. Please NOT THE HAIR!!!!!!

Well UTAH and the federal goverment in all there wonderous glory(written tongue and cheek and with much anger as one can muster without bursting a bloodvessel) have finally gotten to me!!!!!!!I have been telling William ever since I have been married to him that UTAH has a personal, public plot to make sure someone can drive me straight to the front gates of the loonie bin and leave me there kicking and screaming to let me out of here(the culture here is NOT TEXAS by any stretch of the imagination). I have been struggling with my health for years and just when we think everything is going along swimmingly, I get the seatbelt of the car wrapped around my leg and ankle, end up doing a trampeze artist move out the door of my van and proceed to wretch my knee(beyond child birth pain, if you can believe it) and knock my self out on the concrete driveway, skirt over my head and my glorious Mormon undies(so attractive) flashing the entire neighborhood(if I could be any more glamorous I might just have to shot myself and put myself out of my own misery)...............ANYWHO that was back in October and I was laid up for months and I am just in the last few weeks able to walk for more than 5 minutes without my knee popping out of it's place and having THE KNEE PAIN FROM HELL!!! Of course I start putting on weight , I am thinking it is because I cannot get around and exercise(which is driving me loonie too) and then in the last 7 months no period, so I am thinking ..........Oh H%^$#LL now what!!! Then I start blowing up like I am really really pregnant......Then I start having trouble being able to sleep at all, then in the last months all I want to do is sleep..............I get some song and dance from my doctor that well maybe, just maybe it is your Thyroid......Check it along with all the other assorted blood work(oh and I forgot to mention when I wonked, yes Virginia, that is an official medical term, GO LOOK IT UP!!! wink wink, my head on the concrete during this escapade, that I knocked the "crystals" loose in my inner ear, Did you catch that lovely medical jargon too??????? and had to put up with the room spinning and almost passing out everytime I moved my head or got up, sat down, or laid down for months on end) For someone who has never touch an illicit drug in my life, I sure have gotten my fill of "crystal clear" persuation over the last few months with all the room spinning and almost passing out episodes. (try driving with that one, I literally became a prisoner in my own home!!!!)...Any way the first labs came back, well your thyriod is a little low, but no big whoop.......Okay so then a couple of months into this I go for my first gyny app. in 7 years!! I know I know, I am bad , but I have good reason(let me tell you when EVERY gyny who ever has examined you professes that you have the longest, narrowest who who, yes yes more medical jargon, they have EVER encountered in the history of their profession, and I am telling you a couple have been really OLD!!!!! And then after trying at least 5 different types of speculas and of course NONE of them EVER working, you really start to get a complex about the way G-D put you together......Then every time with ,EVERY SINGLE GYNY I HAVE EVER HAD!!! ,while they are face to face with places you have never even seen face to face, they ALWAYS have to comment on.........................Are you really sure you had a vaginal delivery with your child???????( are you freaking kidding me!!!!????? WT#@#@!!! I am pretty darn sure October 26, 1990 I was pushing something big , wiggily and crying out of my who who!!! HELLO!!!!).......I keep telling my husband he REALLY undervalues, my properties worth if YKWIM!!!! ..................................................ANYWAY, I go in and we mention the aforementioned thyriod again , so gyny decides to run MORE labs......Just call me the human pin cushion alright already!!!!!......Well now my lovely little thyriod has completely FAILED, and I am asked how long have I lived in Utah......Well when I give my answer I get!!!!!Oh well I knew by the way it failed.......You Have downwinder syndrome...................................I am freaking mad as hell!!!!!! What's next? are my arms going to fall off? Am a going to get some really aggressive form of cancer?? Now wonder the Huntsman cancer Center is located here.....They have all the guiny pigs the goverment could provide!!!! And then I get told the type of thyroid medicine I am going to have to take , most likely will cause significant hair loss..................And in some cases it does not come back!!!! CRAP!!!! I am already ugly looking enough, man, how much more do I have to endure!!!!?????? Seriously I must have been ONE vain B^%###$tch in the pre-exists to have all these WONDERFUL LESSONS bestowed on me!!!!! .................Thank G-d for cute wigs I guess , but really how much more can I take......I am one P.O.'d woman right now!!!!!! Okay where the @#$#%%^ is the chocolate!!!!!!!!!!!! Next torture I get to endure is a GYNY ultrasound and a D&C...........(in part ,cause this time NONE of the speculas will fit to reach my special who who parts...Can I BE ANY MORE BLESSED????!!!!!) ...........All I have to say is this.....For those woman who are getting special who who shrinking surgeries, maybe you better rethink yourself.........I mean what if it ends up too small, you might have to endure what I do!!!!! Vain little @$R$#....................Okay I promise no more ranting posts for a least a few days..............................................Unless my hair starts falling out in clumps!!!!!! Okay!!!!! Peace to all, but not our goverment, sorry dudes, right now I feel If you cannot understand that well go jump of a cliff!!!!!! Peace , kim B